Coney Island 11.22.12 It's been a month since Hurricane Sandy came to many towns in the tri-state area. Since then it has been a matter of recovery and as much as possible, healing. A friend of mine recently told me that she felt guilty because she had survived the storm without incident, she seemed to be feeling the gap between her outcome and the outcome of so many less fortunate, some who lost everything but the clothes on their backs. A decade ago I heard similar sentiments from those who had survived the attacks on September 11th. My very best advice as a therapist providing crisis counseling back then as it is now, is that if we all fall down at once, who will be there to help us back up? Those of us who are less affected by a tragedy are afforded an opportunity to help those who were.
The recovery from Hurricane Sandy will take years and will happen in stages so there is plenty of time to help, plenty of time to figure out how to be helpful. One does not have to be a first responder, therapist etc... to be of help. Quite the contrary. If you're an accountant, volunteer to help someone organize their financial recovery; a lawyer can help with the legal issues; someone who likes to cook can help with the shelter and pop-up kitchens; interior designers can help with decorating peoples homes once rebuilt. Good at crafts? Great. One can refurbish used or found furniture to help people save money in replacing items lost. Love animals? Fabulous. There are lots and lots of them who need your help so foster, adopt, volunteer at rescues who have taken in displaced/lost/abandoned animals. And for someone far away, one can hold a bake sale, collect needed items to ship, or provide support in some way where miles do not matter like contacting companies and ask them to donate items to affected areas. You can even provide support to those who are providing support! We all have a skill set to share with others. The list is really endless!
The recovery from Hurricane Sandy will take years and will happen in stages so there is plenty of time to help, plenty of time to figure out how to be helpful. One does not have to be a first responder, therapist etc... to be of help. Quite the contrary. If you're an accountant, volunteer to help someone organize their financial recovery; a lawyer can help with the legal issues; someone who likes to cook can help with the shelter and pop-up kitchens; interior designers can help with decorating peoples homes once rebuilt. Good at crafts? Great. One can refurbish used or found furniture to help people save money in replacing items lost. Love animals? Fabulous. There are lots and lots of them who need your help so foster, adopt, volunteer at rescues who have taken in displaced/lost/abandoned animals. And for someone far away, one can hold a bake sale, collect needed items to ship, or provide support in some way where miles do not matter like contacting companies and ask them to donate items to affected areas. You can even provide support to those who are providing support! We all have a skill set to share with others. The list is really endless!
East Village charging and food station run by volunteers and donations.
When people ask what they can expect when going out to volunteer, my response always includes these suggestions... First, in addition to a task you may have signed up for and what expectations you have of yourself, also be prepared to just be 'with' people because a lot of times that is what they need the most, to be in the company of another or others rather than the blaring noise and/or silence of what they have been through and the challenging road ahead. There is strength and comfort in numbers. Second, be open to just showing up and asking 'How can I help?'. The recovery process can change day by day so being flexible helps the process along and also may take the pressure off someone who may have a hard time asking for specific help. Third, unless a person seems actively traumatized or seems closed to talking, do not be afraid to ask questions about what happened. It is generally thought that encouraging someone to share their experience may lessen isolation and provide an outlet for and relief from feeling overwhelmed. Fourth and most important... be authentic. It's ok for example to stand next to someone, in front of what used to be her/his home and emote "holy cow this stinks". Trust me, there is a good chance you won't be stating anything that person hasn't already said or thought. Your authentic response may in fact validate a person's experience, a little empathy can go a long way. There's a fifth for anyone out there in the trenches, and it really cannot be stated enough...make sure you take care of yourself. Like you are helping others to, find a way for yourself. Burn out takes you out of your ability to help effectively and can be difficult to recover from because one has so little energy left to offer his/herself by the time s/he putters out from mental and physical exhaustion.
No matter who I speak with, there is a topic that surfaces during times like this, a universal happening... tragedy brings out the best and worst of people. It sure does. It can be frustrating to know people are acting out in harmful ways, taking advantage of those who are vulnerable. The human condition continues to baffle me most times but I am grateful that the actions of those with good intentions far outweigh those without.
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Neighbors in my building really came through with donations for people in Coney Island, every inch of my SUV besides driver's seat was packed!
Church members in Coney Island, entire church interior gone yet they continue to serve free food and host a donation center for their community.
If you'd like to drop off donations, the church is located at 2102 Mermaid Avenue Brooklyn, NY 11224.
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